2022 has been a year of shifts for me. I realized I had a lot of beliefs and how to go through life based on what I learned growing up in the household I did. We see the things that our parents do, what they talk about, the beliefs that they have whether that be religion, politics, just everything and then we move out. I feel like we grow and we take on all these beliefs that our parents have and now we move out of the house. We either have those parents who are like go chase your dreams, fly, do everything, figure out who you are and then we have those other parents that are constantly reminding us to make sure you're being a good person and make sure you're doing the right things.
I feel like it's not their fault at all because they were raised how they were raised and it's just generational parenting. You know it's all continuing on and I'm starting to realize a lot of the things that we don't do as people. We don't take the time to sit down and figure out what we want in life. I feel like a lot of us continue to go through life trying to do all of the “right?” things. We never take that time to sit down and truly figure out who we are as a person outside of my house, outside of being a daughter, outside of being a mom, outside of being a wife, whatever that may be. We don't seem to take the time.
When I started having kids I was so lost. I grew up knowing what I wanted in life and then life throws you curveballs. For those of you that don't know my story, I got pregnant at 19. We got married and we were babies raising babies. We had to figure it out along the way and I was lost for a very long time and it wasn't until I sat down and started doing the inner work that I truly figured out who I was. I think that a lot of us are this way, and you don't have to get pregnant at 19 to lose yourself.
But, I feel like a lot of us are afraid to disappoint our parents, afraid that the beliefs that we were taught growing up, is that you're a bad person if you don't live a certain way. That's very much how I was raised in the religion that I was in. We don't do certain things and I was raised holding the belief that people who did those things were bad people. I don't think my parents ever actually came out and said “oh my gosh they're a bad person because they smoke” or “they're a bad person because they drink” or anything like that. It's just how I perceived it and held on to that belief.
I want to do an exercise with you. Get out a notebook. I want you to truly take the time to sit down with yourself. Figure out what beliefs you're holding onto because somebody else placed them on you or because you're afraid of the judgment or you're afraid that your parents are going to disapprove. I just want you to ask yourself what is working and what is not working in my life right now. What is overwhelming you? Maybe you have a business you want to take to the next level and you don't know how to do that and with kids you're feeling super overwhelmed. What is not working? What is overwhelming in your life right now that you don't really know why you're doing it but you just you keep doing it because it's what you do?
Next, let's look at outside of being a mom, a wife, a daughter, all of that just what do you want in life? Maybe you have a dream of running a business, maybe you have a business you want to level it up and make x amount of dollars each year or x amount of dollars each month, maybe you want a dream house… it's not bad to want these things! Outside of being a mom, a wife, a daughter… what do you want? I'm talking… go all in! If you want to be rich, if you want to live in your dream house, in your dream location and drive your dream car and be able to buy all the supplements you want to buy and you have a home gym… a few of these are mine. Yes because I feel like we grow up thinking that living within your means is humble. GUESS WHAT… yes, you can still be all those things and be a wealthy person. I know freaking amazing people who are so wealthy they choose to give back. They are like the best people I've ever met. A belief that I had held onto for the longest time, and it held me back from making money was, rich people are assholes and money doesn't grow on trees. I bet you've heard that money doesn't grow on trees, live within your means… all of that. These are the beliefs that have held you where you are. So if you want to be wealthy, you want the dream house. Maybe somebody has said I don't understand why you're not happy. You have a beautiful life. You have a beautiful family. You have a beautiful home. That's fine. But maybe that's not your dream.
I want you to also think about what beliefs have held you where you are. Is it the fact that you've been told money doesn't grow on trees? Is it the fact that you've been told you're a bad person if you don't go to church? Is it the fact that if you have a margarita on a beach, you're sinning? Think of anything and everything. I talk about a lot of these because these are examples in my life of things that have just held me where I was. A lot of my beliefs growing up were around money. It's not to point the finger and say “oh my gosh Mom and dad. You ruined me you screwed me up.” I mean quite frankly part of that's our job as parents right? ;) We do the best we can, with the knowledge that we have. Just know that your parents did the best they could with the knowledge that they had. Now we know better, so we can take that a step further in the direction that we want to go right? Then we can teach our kids to do the same and now we can start this new trend through generations of chasing our own dreams, living life for us.
The last thing that I want you to think about is just how can you reframe some of those beliefs and let them go to be able to step into your next level of life? You have to be able to let some of those beliefs holding you back GO. Let's just say one of your beliefs is money doesn't grow on trees. First of all I'm going to say this… money is made of paper and paper is actually made from trees so money does grow on trees. :) There's plenty to go around. There's plenty in the world. You are not taking any away from anybody by wanting more by having more by. Finding more people can go out and make as much money as they want to make. You can go out and make as much money as you want to make. You are not a bad person because you want to be wealthy!!! Wealthy people do great things. Think about how you can reframe a lot of those and just let them go.
Ok as a recap:
Question one: What is overwhelming or not working in your life right now?