I caught a glimpse of myself the other day. I had posted a photo and got a comment that I wasn't sure how to take. I quickly deleted it and called my client.
As we began talking she apologized, telling me that life has been stressful and she was so embarrassed for lashing out like that. I told her not to worry one bit.
She told me how stressful her situation was with the two kids and a husband that works all the time.
In that moment, I caught a glimpse of myself several years ago. The feelings rushed in and I understood what life was like.
When I became a mom, I lost myself. I began putting every ounce of energy, time, and money into them. My dreams were put on the back burner and I immersed myself until I no longer knew who I was anymore.
I remember the days of barely having enough money to get “only one gallon of milk” until the next small paycheck rolled in, being emotionally and physically spent that I didn't have much left for my hubs at the end of the day, and my sister-in-laws finding places that didn't sell kids clothes to get me gift cards to for Christmas.
Those days were rough and I never want to go back. Instead, I'm here to tell you that it doesn't have to be like that. Don't take as long as I did to wake up and realize that YOU still matter.
Your dreams, your mental health, your wants, and your needs. They are all things that YOU need to be able to take care of your babies. Gosh, it took me so many years to realize this.
For those of you mamas out there that might be feeling isolated, stressed, and as if you have nothing left to give, here are my best tips for you:
1. Reach out.
Find that girl in your neighborhood that is available and have her watch your kids for just one hour a week if that's all you can afford.
You can also trade with a friend. This is what I have been doing as I have other friends involved in things or who also work from home.
Ask family! I turned this option down so many times because I didn't want to "put anyone out." I was so worried about taking care of other's that I didn't think about myself.
2. Don't put your dreams on the back burner.
Sure, things might take on a slower pace in working toward what you want to accomplish, but baby-steps mama, just keep taking those baby-steps.
As they get older, you can teach them to work along with you and life lessons will be learned along the way!
3. GET OUT!!
Yes, get out of the house, the area, whatever you can do just do it! Go to dinner with girlfriends, sign up for paint night no matter how far out of your comfort zone, go get a pedicure, anything!
The options are endless, but sometimes you need to get out of the house if even for only a few hours and you'll be amazed at how recharged you feel.
4. Spend alone time with the hubs.
Book a trip, a hotel room for a night, set a date night 1-2 times each month minimum. You both need it not only mentally, but you might be amazed at how much steamier things might get when you are both able to disconnect from the kids + life duties for a bit and and reconnect with each other ;)
5. Work on yourself.
Personal development has been the best thing that I have ever done for myself. Listening to self-help books, following upbeat people on Insta, and doing a few sessions with a life coach have helped me more with all things in life than anything else.
There are so many paid and free options out there so find what works best for your style and make it happen!
You've got this mama, but don't forget about YOU! Take care of yourself so you can also take care of others.