I'd always dreamed of being a photographer. Ever since I was young, I was the girl with a camera in my hand. Somehow I always had a plethora of disposable cameras and one was with me at all times.
I would photograph life, friends, the random things we did, and oh our poor pets! My sister and I would photograph them Anne Geddes style.
As I got older, my Grandma bought me my first film camera. I was smitten to say the least. Again, I have no clue where those rolls of film came from, but I seemed to have an endless supply.
As I grew older, I always wondered what I would do with photography; what I would want to photograph for my business. I continued documenting life through high school, but slowed down a little bit after graduation.
I loved exercise as well and no one in my family had ever gotten a college degree. So, off to USU I went to pursue a degree in Exercise Science until I got pregnant during my first Semester with my high school sweetheart.
Boy did I think life was over. I know now that it wasn't and I sure wish I would have had a different mentality back then. I was a planner + I didn't love to sway from what I had my mind set to doing.
A baby changed my life. I put all of my dreams and ambitions on hold telling myself that we didn't have the money to do it or I had to find a sitter, blah blah blah. I had all the excuses on why I shouldn't.
I dropped college and immersed myself into motherhood. Immersing myself in documenting Kenna's childhood through a lens after getting our first camera when she was about 6 months old.
That camera sparked a fire in me again, but I didn't do anything about it. Marriage was hard, having a baby at 19 was hard, and I told myself the story that we didn't have the money, I didn't want to find a sitter, etc. Again with the excuses.
I was so wrong and I'll never know how making a different decision at that time could have changed our lives, but I'm telling ya, don't make the same mistakes. Chase that dream mama and show your kids to do the same.
Teach them hard work and perseverance and be the example to them that you can do it with a baby on your hip!
It took a few years for us to be able to buy a "real camera." One day I decided that I was done. We were about five years into our marriage and I bought myself a Nikon D3200.
I photographed mainly Kenna and dove deeply into being a mom. I sort of lost my own identity in that and gave my heart and soul to her and taking care of Dustin.
Eventually I got to a point where I was ready to have a piece of whoever I may be back. When I hit this point it wasn't my finest moment. Did I mention that the first several years of our marriage was pretty rough?
Dustin loved hunting and was gone every weekend and I was home with the kids to take care of bills, the house, and dinner. We had a tough discussion on how marriage isn't a 50/50 and we both needed to help. I was working 24 hours a week at the hospital, going to school full-time and trying to take care of the house, kids, and bills. It was a lot and the pot eventually overflowed!
I went back to college and finished my degree in 2015 only to start up my photography business with three kids. By this point, but my mind was starting to shift and I had such a desire to find myself again.
Now I will say that progress has been slow due to many of my own mental roadblocks, but I am not giving up. I have been doing a lot of work on myself personally and I'm learning to get out there and figure out who I am + where I want to be.
Life takes a lot of twists and turns, but I am here to tell you to keep your dreams in sight. Write them, envision them, and learn to make them a reality with kids in tow.
You've got this mama. I believe in you now you just need to believe in you too!